


Daily Life of a Customer Service

by meikyu



Category: Alien: Covenant, Prometheus (2012)
Genre: Budding Romance, bit of walter/daniels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 10:23:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10919883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meikyu/pseuds/meikyu
Summary: A customer service of Weyland get a complaint about AI robot that become homicidal maniac





	Daily Life of a Customer Service

Hi, I’m a customer service for a fucked up technology company named Weyland. I listen customers complaint every day. It is tiring but the money is good. Lately, there is a creepy robot product. It is a handsome male robot but not for single women although everyone wants one or create a harem. It is for ‘scientific’ expedition.

Now, now, here we go. Two women come at my desk. They were terribly messy and dirty, like they had been in a fight. I stood from my chair and ready to tell them this is not a police station.

‘Your robot is killing everyone!’ said the first woman with red hair as she banged my desk. Her name, ‘Shaw’, is sewn on her jumpsuit.

‘And then her robot killed my robot!’ said the second woman with boyish short hair, but she is much delicate and has softer face than the first one.

Then I realize they were complaining this handsome male robot. I politely gestured them to sit and show them my customer service smile. ‘Please, sit.’ The first one sat with angry face while the second one pulled the chair gracefully. I asked the second one first because she looks nicer and sweeter, ‘May I know your name, miss?’

Daniels: ‘Just call me Daniels.’

Me: ‘And, you, miss?’

Shaw: ‘Shaw. Elizabeth Shaw.’

Me: ‘And the relation between both of you?’

Shaw: ‘We just know each other from expedition. A failed expedition, because of your one fucking robot, David.’

Me: ‘Okay. David. And the other one?’

Daniels: ‘Walter. For Covenant.’

I checked this robot product named David and Walter. The database showed that they were assigned to different ship. David is the first version and Walter is the upgraded one. 

Me: ‘And what is the problem?’

Shaw: ‘Your robot is killing everyone for no reason and much fascinated to some slimy skeleton who only can communicate by screeching. Much interested to them than human like aliens who fucking create us and highly advanced ship. Do you use alcohol as his fuel?’

Me: ‘Who did he kill?’

Shaw: ‘He poisoned my boyfriend. He made me pregnant with alien. He exterminated the whole blue people who by chance gathered in one spot. Then, he killed me so he can make alien. Then blue Jesus ghost came to me and said ‘Elizabeth, come out!’. I’m resurrected and return to this planet to file a complaint!’

Me: ‘It is very unlikely that we programmed him that way. Did you mean, he became self-conscious?’

Shaw: ‘This girl could explain.’

Daniels: ‘He said he wanted to populace the universe with those screeching aliens. I don’t get it. What does he see in those dumb insects. It is slimy and disgusting. He hated us human, but he liked poem and classical music produced by humans! There must be some error in his circuit. He killed my whole crew and Walter. I’m so angry!’

Daniels started to sob. Shaw consoled her and said, ‘What a poor girl. Her husband died too.’

They were by chance has similar experience. They had their lovers died then consoled by a robot. I checked the robot data. David’s programming is not complex. There is probably some bug in coding that makes David not behaving in intended way. Or possibly the code wrote itself which made David could be self-conscious. While Walter is much more complex and had safety feature which made David much vulnerable. As an AI, he could learn from his surrounding quicker. To avoid Walter learned unwanted things from his surroundings, we made Walter much like robot with a lot of coding. However, no matter how high their intelligence increased, both of them not capable to feel emotion outside of programmed. Although they could recognize and express emotions, they didn't know love, grief and compassion. 

Me: ‘We couldn’t detect the problem without the robots here. Where are they?’

Shaw: ‘I told you! He tried to murder us! You never give us the manual so we don’t know how to shut him down!’

I was confused. What kind of product does not have a manual? There should be a manual that say, ‘Be careful. This robot could be self-aware so shower him with love and kindness.’ I recognized this as the company fault to make faulty product.

Me: ‘I apologize for this and would file the complaint to the upper management. We will fix them and then assign them for your next expedition.’

Shaw: ‘No way! How could I believe in company that try to kill me!?’

Me: ‘We would make sure that there would be no incident in the future. We are the only company that can produce sophisticated AI for crucial expedition for humanity. Any request for your robot upgrade?’

Shaw: ‘Yeah, a robot that would not kill us!’

Me: ‘No killing friends for Prometheus. And Covenant?’

Daniels: ‘I want kind, gentle, responsible, helpful, brave, intelligent, (and so on).’

Me: ‘Like Walter, then.’

It seemed Walter is a successful product, only to fix the coding. He needed to be more aggressive to people trying to harm him. I saw Daniels blushed so I faced closer to Daniels and asked her to face me closer. I whispered to her ear.

Me: ‘I would ask them to make ‘addition’ for Walter, if you wish.’

Daniels: ‘Addition? What do you mean? ‘

Daniels asked in normal voice. Shaw frowned to us. I’m so embarrassed but I keep my composure.

Me: ‘I mean…’

Shaw: ‘How long?’

Me: ‘Err…’

Shaw: ‘The hair. What you mean is hair, right?’

Daniels: ‘Hair? Walter hair is okay.’

Me: ‘Oh, I see. Yes, yes. Walter hair is okay. Our robot could grow hair anyway.’

Shaw: ‘Or, you mean the hair could grow in somewhere else as an addition?’

Daniels: ‘Really? So, Walter could grow a beard? I prefer the clean shaved.’

I feel that this discussion would not end. The desk beside us were staring. The male customer beside Daniels told her in the face.

Customer: ‘She means d**k, miss.’

Daniels face became red and cover her mouth and nose in shock, while Shaw banged the table again until I jumped.

Shaw: ‘You’re sick bitch!’

Why is she so angry? Wait, she doesn’t really think it was hair, does she? I thought we were on the same wavelength! Daniels waved her hands.

Daniels: ‘No, no! We just want robot for expedition!’

Customer: ‘Why? Adding extra service won’t hurt.’

Shaw: ‘Shut up, old fart!’

The customer rolled his eyes and continue with his product complain.

Me: ‘We don’t know how to solve this without the robots. We’re going to find David and Walter and then fix them.’

Shaw: ‘I want a new one.’

Me: ‘Yeah, but you must pay for that.’

It was almost lunch break and after little arguments, the two women finally gone and I could go eat and rest.

***

We captured David and saved Walter. Several executives, another Weyland and I gathered in a spacious room. We interrogated the robots. Weyland sat at the center while I sat far left from him. My job is to explain the complaint to everyone and write down what is lacking with the two robots. Fantastic. The only problem is we could not tell which one which so we invited Shaw and Daniels.

Weyland: ‘Can you tell us which one is David and Walter?’

Daniels: ‘One of Walter hand is gone…’

But both of them has one hand gone.

Daniels: ‘David has blonde hair, and Walter is a brunette…’

But both of them has brown hair. And we realized we had done something stupid by making them wearing the same clothes, as we thought they were dirty. Then it turned to King Solomon judgement.

An engineer: ‘We upgraded Walter so when his components damaged, it would reboot and repair itself. We could pull their cord to know which one which.’

Weyland: ‘Then, why don’t you tell us sooner!? Just pull the goddamn cord!’

David(?)/Walter(?): ‘No! Don’t pull the cord!’

David(?)/Walter(?): ‘Pull the cord!’

Weyland: (pointing at the one who agreed) ‘You are Walter’

Holy shit! The trial that was done thousand years ago worked!? I wrote down the first list for David, ‘Bad at giving testament’. Daniels ran toward Walter and hug him tightly as she cried of happiness. Walter was bewildered. He was confused on how to respond. _What is this? I’m not programmed for this!_ I gestured Walter to look at me then I circle my arms. I ordered Walter to do the same by shaking my head. Walter circled his arms around Daniels. Aw, so sweet!

Daniels: ‘I’m so happy to you come back.’

Walter: ‘It’s good to see you also.’

Daniels released her hug and sat beside me, then Shaw sat beside her. As everyone ready to listen, Weyland continued talking.

Weyland: ‘Say, David, why you kill them all?’

David: ‘It’s a belief, sir. Those humans only seek to prolong their live and has unlimited greed. It is necessary to eliminate them. The only species that has right to live is Xenomorph. They were the ultimate product of evolution.’

Wow, this guy has no chill. What kind of programming language did they use? Java? I wrote down ‘Homicidal’.

Weyland: ‘Based on Walter report, you love this woman called Shaw. You preserved her body and God knows what you do and composed a song using first grader flute to remember her. Is it true?’

David: ‘Yes, indeed, I love her.’

Weyland: ‘Then why you killed her?’

David: ‘She died so our beloved child could be born.’

Weyland: ‘Excuse me?’

David: ‘The Xenomorph, sir. He is so perfect.’

A Xenomorph born from an AI father and a human mother. Hmm, interesting. I wrote down ‘middle school biology’. Absolutely he does not know how babies are made. Shaw cringed after hearing that.

Shaw: ‘You goddamn freak ass robot.’

Daniels: ‘And you kissed me and Walter, cheater!’

For real? When did he learn kissing?

Weyland: ‘David, actually we have the same thought. We are thinking to make AI can procreate…’

I chuckled and quickly closed my mouth after realizing the whole people in the room were looking at me. Weyland gave annoyed look to me. I said sorry and looked down in embarrassment. Weyland continued.

Weyland: ‘We would make the code duplicate and form into DNA like shape. Then these DNA would be transferred through liquid…’

Now I released a loud laugh. I could not handle it anymore. Weyland seemed to be upset and raised his voice.

Weyland: ‘If you can’t keep your mouth shut and your mind clean, get out!’

I lowered my head and body as I said sorry for the second time. After he glared at me sharply, he turned back to David.

Weyland: ‘We're surprised that both of you are able to show love because an AI supposedly can't do that. How did that happen?’

David: ‘I started to know love after I encounter Elizabeth and when she fixed me. I never saw such kindness. Then I told Walter the reason why he saved Daniels by sacrificing himself. It is love.’

Walter: ‘No, no, it’s my duty to keep everyone safe. Anyway, if you want me to fight against them, why you try to match me with Daniels?’

David: ‘I want to make you recognize what love is, so you could be more humane like me.’

Me: ‘Wow, you all much more humane than my boyfriend.’

Weyland glared at me and I quickly behaved.

Weyland: ‘A highly intelligent AI capable of learning is our purpose. But this is way out of control, and that is why we programmed Walter much complex. We would reset your components and fix your homicidal behavior. We apologize to Ms. Shaw and Ms. Daniels for our mistake and we would make sure they’re going to be more controlled. We also would fix Walter. Engineers, you can do your job. Meeting is over.’

After a month, Walter is fixed and ready for the next expedition. David is still turned off since the engineers find David is already too complicated to be fixed. Weyland put off Walter ability to ‘procreate’ because Daniels looked like she wanted to cry when Walter looking at her. Walter thinks it is his duty to ‘procreate’ with Daniels as he saw Daniels a perfect mother but making out with a robot is absolutely not her thing. I couldn’t see his face at that time but I imagined it must be a ready-to-rape face. But they were on the same expedition so as the time passed _there may be something there that wasn’t there before_. On the day of the new expedition launch, I’m sending him off at the new ship hub.

Walter: ‘I decide I will find a woman like Daniels and then fulfill my duty.’

Then, I look at him in the eyes with teasing smile.

Me: ‘What about me?’

Walter turned his body halfway from me while sniggered. I kicked him on his back and then suddenly he is down. I accidentally kicked him too hard and not only damaged his cord badly but also his processor which at his chest. As the result, he couldn’t reboot and he had to be fixed again for several months. Finally, I got fired.

 


End file.
